The #metoo campaign a few weeks ago highlighted the burden women (and men) carry in the realm of sexuality, abuse and harassment, often resulting in debilitating depression and anxiety, as well as many other dire consequences.
Basically, a light goes out when there's sexual abuse, any abuse. Or any kind of shock or deep hurt. Or harassment. A contraction, a hiding, a retreat from life. A shrinking and consequent 'forgetting' of who you really are.
Until we can find something that liberates us from the constant pain and suffering that is depression, we are not free.
The incidence of depression is said now to be 10 times more than in the 1950's....
Last week it was my father's birthday. He would have been 91. It reminded me of the days before he passed in January 2015, when I would sit silently with him.
Watching his closed eyes, seeing him breathe in and out quietly and gently, while stroking his body or holding his hand, my eyes would moisten. I was so moved as I contemplated the pure love of this man I could proudly call my Dad.
The use of Pornography must be one of the most polarising subjects around when it comes to sexuality and relationships.
Shrouded in secrecy, both women and men, silent for their own reasons - men for their shame and guilt. (Men more commonly use Pornography more than women)
And women, for their feelings of betrayal and shame that they are 'not enough' for their husband, who has to resort to porn to satisfy him.
A sense of failure prevails for both. Deep wounding is triggered and is created fresh in the moment, as each click drives another relationship to the wall.
(Please note some aspects of this post may offend)
Menopause can be a time of huge change for a woman. AND her love partner!
As the common symptoms intensify, women who have been so capable and successful in their career and mothering roles can find themselves floundering in the uncharted waters of uncontrollable emotion.
She can feel so tired that she becomes as irritable as a bear guarding her lair. And the rising heat of hot flushes at night...
Forgive me for the play on words here. Taken from Esther Perels' book Mating in Captivity, which speaks to the unnatural demand monogamy puts on couples.
Well, some couples prefer to be monogamous and if you are one of those, then you may have experienced once or twice the feeling of monotony come over your relationship, you, or the other. Or perhaps your original commitment has felt like entrapment.
I heard a beautiful woman today speak of her yearning for a great intimate relationship but said she felt like a ship out to sea with no rudder. I know this feeling.
She’d done so many workshops on sexuality and webinars and courses, and to my surprise, she still felt none of them gave her what she was wanting – a deep connection with herself and connection with her husband.
I hear this often ....
When Michelangelo was asked 'How did he create the David?', he said, "The form is already there, I just take away what it is not."
I spent time with my grandchild the other day. I wonder at who she will be in twenty years time. How will life mould her.
She reminds me of how we are born as a pure expression of love and innocence and then as we grow older, we seem to develop ways of hiding away this love, as protection or survival.
I wonder that our purpose is to be the loving sculptor, to remember this love and find ways to allow what isn't love to fall away, to let down our guard, to reveal who we really are.
‘Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies’
I love this quote by Nelson Mandela. What a man! …. to have endured such injustice and still have forgiveness in his heart.
It’s great to do a physical cleanse and really detoxify the body. And, how are we poisoning our bodies with emotions like resentment and bitterness? Many do not realise emotions such as these can create an enormous amount of toxicity and chemicals that can radically affect one’s health AND the health of any relationship.
Tension in a relationship can ...
What is it to be sexually vulnerable in a relationship?
A strange question. Who wants to be sexually vulnerable? It implies being used, being abused, even being open to things that you just don't resonate with. Or going along with the current trends that are being normalised through online porn or movies. To feeling defenceless, weakness, being unprotected. To me, it doesn't mean that at all. Let's take a deeper look.
Bringing those two words together – sex and vulnerability seems scary. And it’s a bridge that many don’t want to cross. Especially for women, but also for men. In a way though, women are already sexually vulnerable just by their very physical nature.
But to put it into the context of a relationship, being sexually vulnerable means leaving aside the mind games we play to protect ourselves, to get love, to perform, or perhaps look a certain way to our partner.
There’s a new woman emerging - a woman who wants to know self-love. A woman who wants to live an authentic life where she knows deeply she is valued, loved and respected because she values, loves and respects her own self.
And nothing short of that will do. A woman whose desire to love herself is foremost above loving another, as she’s learnt that all her focus on others has only drained her body, her emotions and her love.
Resonating with this?
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