Do you have a relationship that challenges you or a situation you find difficult? The holiday season sure brings them all up doesn't it? Well I have an all time tip - it's the source, the secret to transforming your experience when it comes to the hard stuff.
It's about the body - and no! I am not giving you dietary advice or to tell you to exercise more.
The #metoo campaign a few weeks ago highlighted the burden women (and men) carry in the realm of sexuality, abuse and harassment, often resulting in debilitating depression and anxiety, as well as many other dire consequences.
Basically, a light goes out when there's sexual abuse, any abuse. Or any kind of shock or deep hurt. Or harassment. A contraction, a hiding, a retreat from life. A shrinking and consequent 'forgetting' of who you really are.
Until we can find something that liberates us from the constant pain and suffering that is depression, we are not free.
The incidence of depression is said now to be 10 times more than in the 1950's....
As the years have gone on, there's one distinction that has become clearer and clearer to me around this crazy thing called Love.
And that is the pathway to sexual intimacy, well at least one with depth and sweetness - is through emotional intimacy and connection.
And by emotional intimacy, I don't mean becoming highly emotional and then making love to 'make it better'. I mean tender, heart connected, verbal and non-verbal,...
Was it the Leo Full Moon? Was it just an off day? Am I just so ungrateful? Last Monday, yes only just last week …. I have to admit I had a total meltdown … why? …Because my face appeared on the front of a magazine...
I didn't say 'oh wow, there I am on the front of Holistic Bliss Magazine!'.
Instead I collapsed in so much self criticsim.
Have you ever felt so crippled by shame that you felt you wanted to hide under a rock and disappear?
Shame is a debilitating emotion that can cripple us at any time. Read on for what happened to me last week and how I met shame ...
What is it to be sexually vulnerable in a relationship?
A strange question. Who wants to be sexually vulnerable? It implies being used, being abused, even being open to things that you just don't resonate with. Or going along with the current trends that are being normalised through online porn or movies. To feeling defenceless, weakness, being unprotected. To me, it doesn't mean that at all. Let's take a deeper look.
Bringing those two words together – sex and vulnerability seems scary. And it’s a bridge that many don’t want to cross. Especially for women, but also for men. In a way though, women are already sexually vulnerable just by their very physical nature.
But to put it into the context of a relationship, being sexually vulnerable means leaving aside the mind games we play to protect ourselves, to get love, to perform, or perhaps look a certain way to our partner.
A girlfriend called me in distress recently. She’d been enjoying a beautiful opening with her new man. But, in her own words, her history of relationships wasn’t great. She’d always get to a point where her fear of intimacy would get so engulfing for her, she’d end it or he would.
She knew her potential to ‘open up’. But they had started lovemaking when all of a sudden, her body contracted....
For years I was tempted to avoid intimacy. Yet there was always something deeper inside me that knew that avoiding was not the answer. So I was always open to new ideas and new possibilities because there was nothing more than I wanted than a fulfilling, loving relationship.
Resonating with this?
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