You're both mutually attracted to each other. The passion has run high. But somewhere along the line, things changed. He wants it. You don't. She wants it. You don't.
Games and avoidances start to be played. One constantly moves towards the other for intimacy. And the other just wants to run a mile!
This can be the point where a relationship falls over or falters. For the intrepid traveller of inquiry and personal growth, this can be a challenge that can bring both of you either to new heights or bring you to your knees.
One that calls for a deepened maturity, the point where the one who wants to run, can meet the resistence or the one who is always moving towards, finds a way to healthily and lovingly contain (not suppress) your powerful desire to connect. Neither are wrong. That's the important thing to know. Neither.
It's good to realise that there IS NOTHING wrong with either. But how you RESPOND is what makes all the difference and will be the difference between breaking down the relationship or creating more building blocks and foundation for healthy intimacy.
One of the major challenges that women face in menopause and peri menopause is their desire for sex.
I had a call recently from a dear woman who has enjoyed a healthy and loving sex life for years with her husband. Now, in menopause, she was devastated as she said that sex was too painful.
It's reassuring to know for both partners that this is not uncommon. But also it doesn't have to be this way.
The use of Pornography must be one of the most polarising subjects around when it comes to sexuality and relationships.
Shrouded in secrecy, both women and men, silent for their own reasons - men for their shame and guilt. (Men more commonly use Pornography more than women)
And women, for their feelings of betrayal and shame that they are 'not enough' for their husband, who has to resort to porn to satisfy him.
A sense of failure prevails for both. Deep wounding is triggered and is created fresh in the moment, as each click drives another relationship to the wall.
(Please note some aspects of this post may offend)
As women are we lost?
Are we striving too hard for some idealised dream of sex and love, floundering around in the mind's swirling offerings, exhausted by the effort of seeking?
Are we getting buried by our own expectations, leaving us incapable of truly expressing our God-given nature? Love?
We put great weight on sex, and its ability to deliver the final frontier of ecstasy, of power, of love.
Buried beneath the rubble of...
Menopause can be a time of huge change for a woman. AND her love partner!
As the common symptoms intensify, women who have been so capable and successful in their career and mothering roles can find themselves floundering in the uncharted waters of uncontrollable emotion.
She can feel so tired that she becomes as irritable as a bear guarding her lair. And the rising heat of hot flushes at night...
Menopause can be a powerful and transformational gateway into the next stage of a woman’s life if she is willing to accept with grace the changes taking place within her body.
It’s a time of transition, physically, emotionally and spiritually, a time of stepping into a new phase of life. This is often a time when life circumstances push us to make the change we’ve been avoiding for years.
It’s a time when women can feel quite broken emotionally and result in a deep lack of self-worth, even self-hatred for not living up to the expectations of society, peers, family or self.
There’s a new woman emerging - a woman who wants to know self-love. A woman who wants to live an authentic life where she knows deeply she is valued, loved and respected because she values, loves and respects her own self.
And nothing short of that will do. A woman whose desire to love herself is foremost above loving another, as she’s learnt that all her focus on others has only drained her body, her emotions and her love.
A girlfriend called me in distress recently. She’d been enjoying a beautiful opening with her new man. But, in her own words, her history of relationships wasn’t great. She’d always get to a point where her fear of intimacy would get so engulfing for her, she’d end it or he would.
She knew her potential to ‘open up’. But they had started lovemaking when all of a sudden, her body contracted....
My prayer for 2014 is to grow with more peace and love in my heart. What’s yours?
Sometimes when a prayer like that is put out, we get all that is blocking us from love and peace – have you ever noticed that? I have to remind myself to not get discouraged by that – that it is something in the soul unraveling itself and bringing me to more freedom,...
Have you ever been somewhere in nature and felt changed simply by being there?
Australia’s red centre was one such place for 14 women and myself who gathered there a few years ago to celebrate a close friend’s 50th Birthday. She had asked me to loosely facilitate a 4 day pilgrimage to Uluru (Ayres Rock) and Kata Jutja (The Olgas), for ‘a weekend of ritual, release and celebration’.
Women of heart, going...
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