I hope you are well and have come through these last months ok. There are three words that kept going over in my head during these months ... "I'm no hero".
While others have ‘pivoted’ their businesses through this COVID time, or otherwise switched quickly to online (some are my dear friends and I commend them) I instead battened down the hatches.
Like many women of my age, I’ve taken my family in to provide much needed support through a critical time in their lives. It’s been a deeply healing time and it became clear with having small children at home, priorities had to shift.
As I move deeper through midlife and beyond, reflecting on Grandmother-hood and motherhood, now that I’ve been blessed with both, I know one thing for sure - Self-care is crucial during these stages of our lives.
We need to commit to it like our quality of life depends on it…because it does. Self-care is NOT selfish.
This especially comes into play now that I’ve experienced trying to work from home and home-school at the same time! For those parents who were caught in that juggling act, wasn’t it intense!! Oh, you young families! All families. I thought a lot about you and the challenges of relationship through stress.
So here we are taking time out of the house at the peak of isolation. The fact that these little ones could run free and go into their own worlds, knowing they can run back to us at any time, is a nice testament that perhaps we are doing something right. Secure base, safe haven. Secure Base – where children can feel safe to spring forth and explore their world. And Safe Haven - knowing they can return safely any time. What we all need.
You can apply this principle to ALL relationships, including intimate ones. Nurturing a ‘secure base, safe haven’ for each other within a relationship takes self-awareness, presence, understanding and compassion. A secure intimate relationship can provide the deepest healing in the world and has changed my life radically.
The most significant service I can provide at this moment in time, is to support this younger generation to thrive emotionally, not just to survive. Because I know that investment now means they have a chance at more healthy relationships into their adulthood. Something that all of us, as a community, are responsible for.
But, I've never forgotten about you and how I can support more deeply, but in a different way. Changes are afoot.
Retreats and Events
Like many, COVID19 has been a time of complete reassessment. I’ve made the difficult decision to officially cancel all of my 2020 events and retreats.
I’m busy planning for 2021 though so stay tuned. If you’d like to keep informed of 2021 retreat & event dates plus online offerings before I announce them publicly, just choose your event, click on the link, and on the event you are interested in and join my priority list here.
2020. The year of crumbling, also the year of opening. Opening doors that were perhaps closed.
Intimacy is about opening doors. Doors that have been shut for too long. Doors that need a little prying open. Doors that need the hinges oiled with love and understanding, so they open more easily.
Never before has the human connection been more important than now. The heart, compassion, understanding, empathy, even more potently needed. We...
This one. Me, 23, in Rockhampton in 1984.
A few months later my whole life was about to be turned upside down. I was having a heap of fun, had the best job ever. Art teacher at Rocky Girls Grammar. So good. Never really had any aspirations. Was just like a leaf floating along the river of life.
It’s been years and years since I’ve allowed myself time to r e a l l y, t r u l y, w h o l e h e a r t e d l y relax.
Cortisol levels rising before, during and after menopause make anxiety a very real thing for many mid-life women. So delicate is a woman’s hormonal system it makes times like these a must for us to maintain balance.
This is becoming common knowledge now but when I was researching for our book, Tantric Sex and Menopause almost 5 years ago, no one was talking about it.
For years I have written about women closing down sexually. I'm kind of known for it.
But the thing is that men close down too. We all do - it is not necessarily gender specific.
It's just that men usually have naturally high testosterone, rising by 800% in a boy's teens, which makes him highly sexually driven, also give that it is his dymanic pole, in a Tantric sense.
Testosterone can remain high until his 50's - 60's and still quite a reasonable level into his 70's, as long as he is healthy.
But some men find that they have absolutley no drive for sex and no erection at all, even at younger ages - 30's - 40's. And the heart breaking thing is - like women, is that they don't want to be closed....
There's an acceleration of consciousness sweeping the planet right now. Can you feel that?
Things that were 'fringe' 30 years ago are now mainstream.
Conversations that were behind closed doors are now open and in the nightly news - abuse, depression, anxiety, sex offenders and narcissistic leaders being called out etc etc.
The world is now wanting authenticity. Not a glossed version of 'I have it all together' - it's about realness.
There's one real conversation that I am glad is being had now too and it's about another change - 'the' change - yes the change women go through anywhere from their late 30's, 40's, 50's. Menopause, peri-menopause.
There's nothing more real than your body changing unexpectedly or even gradually - looking down at it and seeing what once was up is now down!