When Michelangelo was asked 'How did he create the David?', he said, "The form is already there, I just take away what it is not."
I spent time with my grandchild the other day. I wonder at who she will be in twenty years time. How will life mould her.
She reminds me of how we are born as a pure expression of love and innocence and then as we grow older, we seem to develop ways of hiding away this love, as protection or survival.
I wonder that our purpose is to be the loving sculptor, to remember this love and find ways to allow what isn't love to fall away, to let down our guard, to reveal who we really are.
Right now, in your current life, how much are you holding back your love?
Or not letting love in?
There's a difference between appearing loving, and truly BEING LOVE.
While attending the Making Love Retreat, in Switzerland, I had a huge epiphany - it was like a light went on and showed me very subtly how I had held back love.
And how subtly I can put up a barrier to love.
And there were good reasons for that, as a young child I needed that. But it had stayed with me until now, as a default pattern of protection that has prevented the flow of love to a degree. Is this you too? Whether you are in an intimate relationship or not?
The thing is that in the process, we don't even let the love into our own hearts for ourselves.
It hurts to hold back love. In fact it aches.
And it hurts to hold up a barrier to love. Actually it’s exhausting.
The ego is always working so hard creating ways to preserve the body, or mind, or emotional being and that puts such a load on the nervous system.
It is our resistance to love, or protecting against love, or our stopping of love, that is hard work!
In the safety of the environment and how the retreat was kind of sculpting away on my soul, I couldn't hold back anymore. The protection fell away in an avalanche of tears one day. I was left feeling as innocent and as sweet as a small child. It was like I had been cleansed, or purified and only Love was left, that sweet pure innocence.
And it hasn't left me.
Now when I tune in, I can honestly say I feel love from my fingertips to my nose, from my heart to my toes, right inside every cell of my body.
And it hasn’t gone away. I say this with great humility - I now know, not as a theory, but viscerally, integrally, that I AM LOVE and that my body is innocent.
My body is pure.
My body is LOVE.
You are this too.
And to go into sexual intimacy from this innocence, this sweetness, this purity, this love, is a whole other thing. THIS transforms you. This is what lifts you to a higher love. This and more is our potential. This is YOUR potential.
I am feeling extra excited about our upcoming events after this experience.
If you are in a couple and feel it's time to transform your relationship, deepen your love and inspire your life, come to The Making Love Retreat . If you are a woman, single or partnered, and you ache to feel and embody this love, and yearn to feel empowered in your femininity join us at Womantime Retreat.
P.S Your body is not broken. Menopause is a gateway, a privilege, a time to embrace change with grace and step into a life that is empowered, loving and alive. This is your birthright as a woman. You have been waiting for this all your life... Buy mine and Diana's book Tantric Sex and Menopause on Amazon AUS, Amazon US & Amazon UK.
Recently I sat down with Shae Elise Allen from ‘Midlife Pleasure & Power’ for what was a beautifully intelligent and rich discussion about peri menopause.
Our combined enthusiasm for this topic provided an abundance of key information for women experiencing this transition.
I've seen a lot in my almost 40 years of personal growth and more than 20 years of psychotherapy.
The changes, the trends, the breakthroughs in relationship and trauma theory have reshaped therapeutic environments. And I've seen a lot in my time of exploration into the subject of sexuality and relationship I can tell you.
And, what I have witnessed and been prey to at times, in the name of 'personal growth'...
When the lovely, Luanne Mareen, in her Answering the Call of Your Purpose series, interviewed me recently, she prompted me to ponder what led me to do what I do.
This is probably my most personal interview, having known Luanne for some years. So I reveal a lot more than usual in this interview! And to be honest I've been a little reticent to showcase this video because of this....
It's a crazy time right now. In Australia, the level of fear in the air seems to be heightening. There's an agitation, a fragility in many. Are you being pulled into it or are you able to remain buoyant?
This low-level anxiety affects our nervous systems and ultimately can affect our relationships. We are at survival in some ways. And our primal brain (survival brain) responds to this fight-flight. Stress and...
I often hear men say, when they speak about sexual intimacy, "It's her problem, not my problem. I want it. She doesn't".
Well, it's not that simple! And it's not her fault, and it's not his fault. There is a lot at play here.
In this video I am primarily speaking to men. But roles can always be reversed. Sometimes it is the man who is retreating from sexual intimacy, so I...
My daughter took this photo in Melbourne early in 2020.
Contemplating my beautiful journey with her as a mother made me think of something that happened as she grew up. To be honest this is a little hard to admit! But for the sake of any woman approaching perimenopause, well, here I go ...
One day when she was 12, and I was 42, I found myself behaving like a crazy woman...