Topic: "making love"
It's a crazy time right now. In Australia, the level of fear in the air seems to be heightening. There's an agitation, a fragility in many. Are you being pulled into it or are you able to remain buoyant?
This low-level anxiety affects our nervous systems and ultimately can affect our relationships. We are at survival in some ways. And our primal brain (survival brain) responds to this fight-flight. Stress and...
I often hear men say, when they speak about sexual intimacy, "It's her problem, not my problem. I want it. She doesn't".
Well, it's not that simple! And it's not her fault, and it's not his fault. There is a lot at play here.
In this video I am primarily speaking to men. But roles can always be reversed. Sometimes it is the man who is retreating from sexual intimacy, so I...
'Why can I not reach her anymore?'. This is the question so many men are asking me lately.
I am seeing a change in men generally these days. Their bewilderment engenders humility. Their hearts are aching to love and to see their partner shine again.
I see this in their faces as they arrive on the first night of the Making Love Retreat, downhearted and confused. Sometimes years of tears ready...
'Heartbreak is how we mature. It is as inescapable and inevitable as breathing. Even the longest marriage has it's heartbroken many times, even in the act of just staying together.'
Wise words from one of my favourite contemporary poets, David Whyte.
I see it all the time. A large part of the maturing of a relationship rests on how well we repair from upheavals and disappointments. Some relationships survive it. Others do not.
A wise mentor said to me once, 'A relationship can be for a reason, a season or a lifetime'.
I think the event of birth and it’s subsequent effects on a woman’s body is one of the most underestimated natural disturbances and trauma on the female body and psyche that she may ever have. And on her willingness and physical ability to re-engage in sexual intercourse afterwards.
I cannot count the number of women who have sat with me and said it. 'It all changed after I had children'.
Very early one morning in February I was interviewed by a beautiful couple, Nicola Foster and Jason Porthouse in the UK for their podcast, Intimacy Matters.
I think I am the most relaxed I've ever been in any interview here, having known Nicola before. I'd met Nicola, a Relationship therapist, while attending The Making Love Retreat some 8 years ago in Europe.
We cover a heap of territory from...
To approach the body with sensitivity and awareness is a rare thing and yet it’s what every ‘body’ is craving for.
Touch, with presence. It’s the most life-giving, life-saving resource we can offer to our loved ones and those around us.
Yet, in our society generally, the body just doesn’t receive enough safe, loving, respectful, non-intentional touch.
Touch is the first communication that we have in our world. The power of touch, and...
For years I have written about women closing down sexually. I'm kind of known for it.
But the thing is that men close down too. We all do - it is not necessarily gender specific.
It's just that men usually have naturally high testosterone, rising by 800% in a boy's teens, which makes him highly sexually driven, also give that it is his dymanic pole, in a Tantric sense.
Testosterone can remain high until his 50's - 60's and still quite a reasonable level into his 70's, as long as he is healthy.
But some men find that they have absolutley no drive for sex and no erection at all, even at younger ages - 30's - 40's. And the heart breaking thing is - like women, is that they don't want to be closed....
Have you ever been speaking with someone, and they are completely away somewhere else? Have you ever done that yourself?
Or you have been so emotionally charged about something, or so stressed that you simply are not 'here' when someone is trying to connect with you?
After many years with couples and in my own experience, I have come to observe three important keys to creating more emotional and sexual intimacy in relationships. I call them the '3 P's'.
A few weeks ago, I went to Uluru with my dear friend, Sharon, to do our Level 3 Art of Feminine Presence training with Rachael Jayne Groover.
It was an amazing week with some deep insights into how I show up around women and some of the wounds I've carried and how even with our story, there's a way to move beyond instead of falling into the rabbit hole of a crushing hurt with a tumbling of past hurts carried with it, I had a spontaneous opening... into Love - not just love, this GREAT LOVE that I know holds me, you, us all.
Resonating with this?
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