Topic: "vulnerability"

The Intimate Life of the Narcissist

The Intimate Life of the Narcissist

Twenty years ago, we never heard the term, 'Narcissist'.

Only in myths. Now everyone is talking about Narcissism, and thank god it's happening. I think it's been the hidden cause of serious relationship problems and sadly, abuse that has been left unchecked. But the narcissist can be right under our own roof. The more subtle ones. I wish I knew this in my 20's.

Like anything there is a spectrum, from the...

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The Vulnerability of Receiving

The Vulnerability of Receiving

My third grandchild, Isla Rose was born last week. I was waiting in the wings, looking after her two 6 and 8-year-old sisters. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

After about a week, the anticipation of the birth and then subsequent relief at all being well, seeing Mum and bub and the whole family doing great, I could feel something inside going, 'ok, time for me'. That edge of...

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Revolution of Love

Revolution of Love

It's been ten years since teaching the very first Making Love Retreat Australia.

The Retreat was founded originally by Diana Richardson, pioneer in the Slow Sex movement.
While Gene and I are no longer a couple, and I have taken over the full facilitation of the retreat over the last few years, I always honour him for the gift of our relationship and how much I healed during the process of...

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The Gift of Presence

The Gift of Presence

I really am a hopeless romantic. But I'm a cracker when it comes to Valentine's Day. I've seen more conflicts and disappointments from expectations not being met than I think it's worth.

To me, make every day a celebration of your relationship. And the greatest gift you can give your partner, your lover, is your PRESENCE.

I don't mean, 'well I'm here. Isn't that being present?' No I mean, full-bodied, full open-hearted,...

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Love is the Life-saver

Love is the Life-saver

It's no doubt that 2021 has been a challenge for many, if not all of us. The pressure on relationships is off the Richter scale.

On all types of relationships - friendships, partnerships, love-ships, family-ships, work-ships. Many types of ships. 

And the thing about ships is that at the moment, many are all out to sea. With no rudder, no mainstay, no land in sight, and no lifeboats left.

We are being tossed...

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The Road Back to Intimacy

The Road Back to Intimacy

I've seen a lot in my almost 40 years of personal growth and more than 20 years of psychotherapy.

The changes, the trends, the breakthroughs in relationship and trauma theory have reshaped therapeutic environments. And I've seen a lot in my time of exploration into the subject of sexuality and relationship I can tell you.

And, what I have witnessed and been prey to at times, in the name of 'personal growth'...

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Are you in love or fear?

Are you in love or fear?

It's a crazy time right now. In Australia, the level of fear in the air seems to be heightening. There's an agitation, a fragility in many. Are you being pulled into it or are you able to remain buoyant?

This low-level anxiety affects our nervous systems and ultimately can affect our relationships. We are at survival in some ways. And our primal brain (survival brain) responds to this fight-flight. Stress and...

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It's all going to be ok

It's all going to be ok

This one. Me, 23, in Rockhampton in 1984.

A few months later my whole life was about to be turned upside down. I was having a heap of fun, had the best job ever. Art teacher at Rocky Girls Grammar. So good. Never really had any aspirations. Was just like a leaf floating along the river of life.

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I'm No Hero

I'm No Hero

While others have ‘pivoted’ their businesses through this COVID time, or otherwise switched quickly to online (some are my dear friends and I commend them) I instead battened down the hatches.

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When Men Close Down

When Men Close Down

For years I have written about women closing down sexually. I'm kind of known for it.

But the thing is that men close down too. We all do - it is not necessarily gender specific.

It's just that men usually have naturally high testosterone, rising by 800% in a boy's teens, which makes him highly sexually driven, also give that it is his dymanic pole, in a Tantric sense.

Testosterone can remain high until his 50's - 60's and still quite a reasonable level into his 70's, as long as he is healthy.

But some men find that they have absolutley no drive for sex and no erection at all, even at younger ages - 30's - 40's. And the heart breaking thing is - like women, is that they don't want to be closed....

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