Well, in just a few days, I have the honour of being part of a Noosa first TEDx event.
A friend, Carren Smith, urged me to apply over dinner one night in December.
When she suggested it, I felt like someone had poured something hot over me from head to toe!
A sense of dread came over me, as some part of me must have known that I might be part of it.
I’d seen TED talks before and have either been enormously moved or inspired.
It was so terrifying to me that I put off applying until the last morning deadline. I woke up asking myself “Why would I want to put myself through this?” I couldn’t get clear. I knew I had a message but wanted to be sure of my motivation. … not just for glory or fame, that wouldn’t work.
So I pulled out my favourite cards at the moment, The Virtues Project cards.
The exact words were ‘It’s time for you to stand up for what you believe in.’ Literally!
Those were the words! How could I question that! I took it as a message from the Divine …. I put aside my ego, my frightened parts, walked downstairs and started typing from my heart, the things that concerned me as a mother about a daughter growing up in the current overtly sexual culture.
The topic is ‘Catalysts for Change’. I sent it to Carren who said “Press the button! Send it!”
So I did.
And lo and behold, on the auspicious 21st December 2012, I received that email that said I was accepted. My jaw dropped. My eyes widened and another hot wave of dread poured over me.
I shook right to my bones!
These past months have been personally very challenging. I feel I have been tossed around by so many frightened parts of my personality as I have had to become used to the idea of being so exposed in public. I haven’t felt so much anxiety for a long time.
As I looked deeper, I discovered and uncovered a very deep layer of shame that was at the core of the anxiety. If I could hide away and do something where no one noticed me I’d be happy but somehow life has given me a different hand.
If you believe the idea that you are here to evolve, then life will always ask more of you. I guess that’s what I believe! To make peace with shame is actually a beautiful thing. There’s a relief in it … like a coming home.
It explains a lot … to embrace that much vulnerability has a certain sweetness to it. It made sense to me.
I’m wondering … what things do you need to make a stand for?
What things would challenge those frightened parts to reveal themselves enough that you could embrace them with your own love so compassionately? Stand with me in your chosen quest and let’s support each other to be who we really are. I
’d love you to share with me below. From my heart to yours x
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And here’s the TEDx Noosa website http://tedxnoosa.com/category/speakers/
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