The Medicine of Presence

"I just want to run."

These were the words one woman uttered on the first day of the Making Love Retreat a couple of weeks ago. Yep. I know. I'd been there too. I remember that feeling very well, almost viscerally, the day before my first Making Love Retreat in 2008.

This was a woman who was unable to have penetrative sex after complications that were compounded by perimenopause. In fact, it had been years since they had been successful in being able to be intimate.

And then, within a few days, everything had changed. I see this at every retreat. It's not medicines, medical interventions, or complicated solutions that solve the problem. She had already tried all of that. It's The Medicine of Presence. The couples who are willing to learn how to truly be present with each other, understand the sensitivity of the female body, and follow the very simple yet powerful 6-day process of the Making Love Retreat, feel the transformation for themselves.

As much as a woman loves her man, as much as she wants to be truly there on an intimate level, when her body doesn't respond the way it used to, something inside her feels utterly broken.

In their vulnerable moments, I have heard men say the same thing.

In this video, I speak of the highlights of the recent retreat. This was one - how presence and the relaxation of our bodies, especially for women, can create an environment where women who have struggled with vaginal pain and inability to make love, in just a few days be able to have the most beautiful lovemaking.

The other most memorable highlight was how some of the men who chose to share, opened up so powerfully. In a culture that silences men when it comes to sex, or at least encourages conversation that based more on jokes, this was so refreshing. Where else can one have intelligent conversations about something so personal as sexual intimacy in a space of safety and trust?

I am increasingly amazed by the alchemy of love and tenderness that unfolds at The Making Love Retreat. Since Covid, I have seen a significant shift in couples being more committed than ever to honesty, realness, going the whole distance with each other, and truly being present moment by moment, even during the challenges.

 A little note: I've been involved with women's work for many many years and been around men doing men's work for as long. I believe there is deep and true value in the genders being together to heal, be witnessed, be supported, and acknowledge each other. It has made a profound difference to my life and the life of many others, women and men alike.

The gift that is offered in these circles, which is so rare in most of society is PRESENCE. So when I may intimate in this video, that men and women being together in such a deep and intimate space as this retreat surpasses the significance of good men's work and good women's work, I sincerely am not minimising the power of single-gender events, like Womantime Retreat for example. I am simply saying, that to be PRESENT to the other gender, to our 'other', in all our vulnerabilities, is where deep transformation in relationship is possible.

If you'd like to experience this profound transformation, join me for The Making Love Retreat next year. Here's what one man said after the last retreat:-

"Janet's Making Love retreat was a huge breakthrough for us as a couple. A quantum shift really. It's helped us reset our approach to each other, and importantly ourselves; in both our mind and body. Before the workshop we were really stuck in old patterns of behaviour and thinking, and the time and space given in the 6-day workshop allowed us to find a new place, centred around love. If you and your partner are hesitant, but feel the need for change, don't overthink it, just dive it. Trust me, the water is warm here." Stu

And if you are wanting to jump right in now, come to my introductory online retreat, two mornings 25th and 26th November, Creating Intimacy at HOME   Read more here. REGISTRATIONS CLOSING SUNDAY 12TH NOVEMBER