Sexuality is a doorway, Love is the Home

Ok, I'm admitting it! Call me 'lame', but I have been watching MAFS, yes Marriage at First Sight. There... Embarassing.

Not the usual thing for me to watch these reality TV shows. I'm usually an ABC, SBS girl but I have to say this one had me hooked.... just a bit.

Not because I thought it was great or that I wanted to find out who would find true love... Because I was astounded at the dynamics of the relationships - the betrayals, the dramas and most of all, the way some of the women behaved and wielded their sexuality.

Don't get me wrong. I love being sexy, feeling sexy and expressing my sexuality in my own way.

Our sex is powerful, but it is just a doorway.

When a woman understands the real truth about her sexuality, something deep inside her relaxes.

She is no longer chasing shadows of her imagined self. She arrives home inside herself like never before. When she knows this deeply through her own lived experience, she gains a confidence in herself that cannot be faked.

When I watched these women, I have to say there was a fair bit of fake. And their behaviour? I was APPALLED! (being in the industry, I was also curious at how the Psychologists handled things)

Now before I go on, I have been told that they are goded by the producers to play it up but when you see the fallout of people's behaviour and its effects on another, you can't pretend true tears and heartache. And if they are being told to do certain things, say certain things, then who is behind this show to encourage such drama and encouraging such a low common denominator of relating?!

One of the women, Jules, said that 'there are women here and there are girls.' I'd have to agree.

But I have to say it left me a little sad, embarassed and scared for my gender. What have we come to?

Despite the common impression that men are more likely to engage in infidelity it was the women who were seducing the men to betray their 'wives'. And it was the women who were competitive, bitching, screaming and fighting (again, not ALL women, but a large portion), while the men just opened their palms in disbelief and put their hands to their head in frustration.

On behalf of women... if this is us ... then, guys, I am sorry!

You cannot have a relationship with a screaming banshee or a person who turns the table on anything you say, male or female. It's just not possible.

And you cannot have a sustainable real fulfilling intimate relationship with someone who is emotionally absent.

And yet I see how sex is used as a seduction. Women, we are powerful - so powerful it's crazy.

Our sexual power is unmeasured.

According to Relationships Australia, the main reason why men are unfaithful is due to lack of sexual connection. The main reason women are, is lack of emotional connection. If this is the case then we are at odds pretty much.

But if there's something we want - women, we have it covered.

We can wield our sexuality at will to gain attention from a man. And this is the difference between girls and women. Are you still trying to find love through offering sex? Or trying to find safety and security through sex?

And for men, are you still trying to find love through chasing sex? They are big questions and confronting ones.

Sexuality is a doorway, Love is the home.

When a woman understands the real truth about her sexuality, something deep inside her relaxes.

She is no longer chasing shadows of her imagined self. She arrives home inside herself like never before. When she knows this deeply through her own lived experience, she gains confidence in herself that cannot be faked.

It exudes from her very being and draws life to her like a moth to a flame.

People want to be in her company.

She discovers her true power, yet her ego no longer needs to wield this power or her sex to get what she wants.

Instead, she yields to her inner woman, powerful, free, loving, wise and compassionate.

She is the creator of life, of *her* life.

She creates through her very being. 

She creates through her existence. 

Her existence is Love. 

I want this for you.

If you want to learn more about embodying Love, and stop chasing shadows of your imagined self, we'd love to see you at Womantime Retreat 18th - 21st July.

And there is still time to experience this art of Being Love at The Making Love Retreat 28th April - 4th May.


Are you Still Standing?

Are you Still Standing?

Last year was devastating for me. Tragedy struck my family. But I showed up.

It was traumatic. I showed up. It was dramatic. I showed up.

In a year that should have been a massive celebration with the launch of my first book, I was in the trenches. I still showed up. My nervous system took a shattering. Eventually I realised I had post traumatic stress. I rested. I retreated. I had to. And then I still showed up. 

Souls have been ravaged by far worse tragedy than mine, and they are SS. Still standing...

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The Secret You Always Knew

The Secret You Always Knew

"I knew this all along but I didn't trust it", she said, with her eyes welling up with tears, both in disbelief and in relief.

For how many years had she abandoned herself? Ten, twenty, thirty?

If only she knew then what she knows now. Would it, could it have been any different?

It's as if this something was already hidden within her body, within her very genetics. They knew. The body knew.

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Never Force the Body

Never Force the Body

Never force your body into intimacy after shock or trauma. 

By and by the body will open.

The opening lays in gentle incremental yielding to any resistance to sexual intimacy in a safe environment.

Read more ...

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The Attracting Force of Woman

The Attracting Force of Woman

I was just in Zurich some years ago and I found myself with half an hour to wait to meet my partner downstairs outside our hotel.

The hotel was by the river Limmat, and outside were lovely little tables right on the river where the Swiss enjoy their drinks and coffees.

Instead though, I decided to go back upstairs and use the time to lie on the bed and relax - and...

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How I Wish

How I Wish

How I Wish

Back in 1998, life was changing for me. I was 37. My son was going into high school. We'd sold our business of 13 years, I was embarking on a new career in counselling, psychotherapy and creative arts therapy, and had pretty deep depression.

They say that counsellors go into this work, because they need it the most! Yep, that was me. But I also loved the creative process of the work.

Little did I know that the symptoms of depression, mood swings, disinterest in sex and general malaise were a few significant signposts that heralded peri-menopause. At 37! I remember when one doctor pronounced, 'yes you are peri-menopausal'. Peri what? What does that mean?

Women so often are in a cloud when it comes to changes in the body, symptoms that don't make sense and feelings that we wish we didn't have. That's why it is SO important to know our bodies, so we can be informed and possibly bypass some of the symptoms and also so we can feel like we are not going crazy.

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