Women and Power

I hear women in midlife saying, 'I took my power back. I feel powerful now.

This is a wonderful thing, and this is part of the transition, but it's not the end game. A woman needs to be careful to not land there.

As I see it, there are two kinds of feminine power. One is power over and the other is power from within.

We all know the damage that has been done to women and how very vulnerable we are in our sexuality. It's a fact. We are the containers. We receive. We absorb. Physically, emotionally, even mentally. So lines have been crossed. Perhaps many times. For many generations. Or she has crossed her own line. Lines she never knew she had permission to have. To keep the peace. Or, she has been left in the wilderness of longing, feeling alone in a relationship, or being single for an extended period. There are good reasons for a woman to be angry. To be withdrawn. To be submissive.

The midlife transition forces a woman through the threshold of her longing - to be heard, to be seen, and to dispel the feeling of powerlessness that has brewed in her bones perhaps for decades.

While some women close down from these feelings, even unconsciously, others decide to rise and wield their power in other ways.

The one area in which we can wield power is through our sexuality. Women are powerful when it comes to sex. We can use it to influence. We can use it to seduce. We can use it to overpower somebody. We can also use it by withdrawing from it. All women know it somewhere in their bones.

We can use it in so many ways as a strategy to get what we want. That, however, is an immature feminine.

A woman's spirit in midlife, even beginning in her 30s, is calling her to transition into maturity. To bring more consciousness to how she uses her body.

Not to be prudish. But to bring loving awareness to how she moves into sex, rather than from a place of her ego or a place of strategy. To move into lovemaking with a consciousness, an awareness around her motivation.

There's a natural magnetic energetic attraction between masculine and feminine. It's just that sometimes women can use this energetic power in a way that is detrimental to themselves and detrimental to their relationships.

So when you move into intimacy, just notice, are you in reaction? Do you want power over so that you can feel powerful as a woman because you feel powerless in some aspects of your life? Or are you moving from this innate power from within, a more contained power?

This containment comes from deeply understanding the power of your presence as a woman. It comes from not always spilling out your energy or exhausting yourself with too much doing. From being 'in your body', not always in your head, your mind, in a conscious way. From learning simple practices to come back into your body many times so that it becomes second nature. I can assure you that this contained power is far more sexy!

It comes from moving from the heart, bringing the conscious heart into the transaction of sexuality. This sometimes cannot be easy for women because we can have a split between our hearts and our sexuality.

They are not connected as a response to the hurt. But when a woman learns how to integrate the two, to have them exist in equal measure. she opens into an authentic power. That power is an almost intangible mystery, that is unseen, yet so deeply felt. And it comes from LOVE. Love truly is her power.

Whether you are in a relationship or not, start to notice, as you move through your life, are you wanting to wield power as a reaction to hurt, as a reaction to the past. Do you use your sexuality in that way? If not, is there another way that you use it?

Or do you want to move from this innate authentic feminine presence inside of you? This is the most powerful because your innate feminine presence is sustainable. It stays with you, whereas using sex as power over, a power you might feel momentarily, will come and go - according to your emotions.

So I urge you to move in that direction of bringing more consciousness, more loving awareness to your presence as a woman.

One of the most profound experiences for women to immerse deeply into their understanding of their presence as women and to integrate their sexuality with their heart, their Love, is at Womantime Retreat - Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Day Woman.

Created from the experience of researching and co-writing Tantric Sex and Menopause, Womantime Retreat is a 3-and-a-half-day experience in a stunning luxurious venue, The Ridge Maleny. This is not only a transformational retreat, supporting women to open into the power of their presence, IN the presence of heart-centred women on the journey with her, but it is also a chance to let the body rest and be, participating in powerful processes that can be a life-long friend in your unfolding journey as a woman, at any age.

To read more about how each day runs, click here to read 'Unwind to Re-Wild', describing the process. If there is a calling in your heart, in your bones, we would love to see you there.