Repair Repair Repair

Repair Repair Repair.

These are the words of Jay Shetty, author of 8 Rules of Love said when he was asked his secret to a great relationship. I would have to agree.

2024 has been a year of division, conflict, opposition, polarity of opinions, and hardship for many. The escalation of conflict I have witnessed in working with couples has been higher than I have ever seen. 

At the same time, the abundance of love that was accessed when they were able to repair has been mesmerising.

It's vital to remember that we are in a post-traumatic stress era, post-Covid. And for us to give each other a wide berth.

Things we do and say when we are not coping often can damage a relationship, whether it is your spouse, your family member, your colleague or your friend.

Here are a few tips for this Christmas period.

# Tip Number one, we need to care for ourselves first. Watch where we are getting stressed and reign it in. Step back to self-soothe if you conflict with a close one. Or let yourself lean into your partner if it is outside your relationship. Let them in. We all need a LOT of soothing right now.

# Tip Number two, watch for any tendency to blame, shame, attack/defend. These are sure symptoms that you are overloaded and need time out. These are all symptoms of the conflicting mind, that just wants to be right. I know it's not easy. But this is the time to step aside. Be willing to let your partner or other know that you need some time to calm.

# Tip Number three, once you have calmed down, be willing to repair. Repair takes humility. It takes your compassionate heart, not your conflicting mind. Phrases such as, 'It makes sense you're feeling...', 'I can see now that I ...', 'It's natural you felt that...'

# Tip Number four, remember that the heart will always lead you to a place of settledness. Find things that truly give your heart joy.

Finally, I want to thank all the couples and clients, current and past for your appreciation, love and support of me and this work. It means so much.

And just to remind you of the goodness in the world, watch this - Chris Martin from Coldplay with Dick Van Dyke (original Mary Poppins movie) And for the young ones, here's the tune on Spotify.

I wish you a beautiful peaceful Christmas and New Year. I pray that those suffering find relief, that we always look out for each other in times of hardship and know that ...

THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING IS LOVE

Thank you for being here. See you in 2025!