Still Sex - Dynamic Stillness

I've been contemplating the idea of Dynamic Stillness in relation to making love lately.

To me, Dynamic equals life force.

Stillness equals power as it's in the deep inner space of our being where power resides.

So Powerful Life Force is what we are talking about.

How to be dynamically still in your life whilst making love?

It seems like a contradiction. Surely you have to move for something to be dynamic? For it to be fun, to be interesting? At The Making Love Retreat, among many, this is one of the essential elements we explore of a more Tantric style of making love.

It's true that movement will create energy - breathing rhythmically and fast can create and stir energy in the body. Fast movement can stir up sexual energy to a raging torrent, but then eventually it subsides.

For many women who are in their 30s, '40s and beyond, the body, especially a sensitive body, may eventually find this draining and uninteresting and will leave you feeling stirred up, fragmented and at times somewhat ungrounded, not quite feeling yourself. And just notice next time, do you feel connected to your partner or is there a strange feeling of separation after a while?

So why would you even want to consider being dynamically still whilst making love or in your general life?

You will become a more loving human being! If you wish to allow sex to uplift you to a higher state, then accessing the inherent energy within your body opens you to a whole other world that simply cannot be accessed through conventional sex. This results in a softening of hearts, a melting of the egos, and a peacefulness between you that allows love to flow more freely.

That feeling of separation after conventional lovemaking does not happen because you have had plenty of time to savour each other and the divine energy that is naturally generated within and between you. The energy or life force is not being expelled outwards but rather is being retained within the body, and allowed to circulate to nourish the organs, the brain, and your whole being.

I also believe that most of us are more content when we feel at peace, feel connected with ourselves, with another or with others and feel love in our hearts. It's not always possible but they are times when we feel like life is really worth living. Bringing a sense of stillness, and in particular, a dynamic stillness can create that.

It's been proven scientifically over and over that meditative practices bring about peace and happiness and this includes a more meditative approach to making love.

So how about trying this out...

Lie down and just start inverting your awareness to your own body and feel the sensations within it. You might not notice anything at first, but by being still you can start to access the deeper part of your inner being - like an awake state of being fully aware of your body, and your surroundings, but feeling from within. You can try this while meditating, being in a yoga pose even. As you become more sensitive you may notice the more subtle fine energies that exist within your body. I love to do it as I fall asleep and wake up, along with doing the Breast Meditation. Let alone while making love.

But how to be dynamically still while moving? You can't just lie around all day! Life just isn't like that.

Well, I began to imagine myself going on my daily walk yet being aware of the dynamic stillness. How would I walk differently? How would I move differently? Automatically I interpreted that I might slow down a bit. I might be more relaxed in my movements, yet alert and very grounded. More mindful.

It's the same with sex.

We are not saying to lie still, dead and stiff as a doornail still. We are talking about this dynamic stillness. Automatically the same will happen - you become slower in your movement, more relaxed, yet alert, grounded, and mindful. More conscious, more loving.

There is a stillness inside your being that evokes an incredible sensitivity, and an opening to the divine that cannot be conceived by the mind. A stillness that actually informs your every movement, so that any movement or nuance of movement while making love is instinctual, organic and rising from the grace of the body rather than the mind. You could almost say, every movement then, whether you are with another or not, becomes lovemaking.

For women, you may notice the fine streaming of the 'inner rod of magnetism' between your breasts/nipples, the dynamic part of the female body and vagina and womb, the receptive area... For men, you may notice the 'inner rod of magnetism' from the base of your penis, the dynamic part of the male body, to your heart/chest area, the receptive area.

This is when sex transforms into love. This is Tantra. This is where ecstatic states arise, without goal-oriented pushing of the mind. This is where the deeper connection with your lover will automatically arise.

And if you are single, imagine moving from this same dynamic stillness, this powerful life force, and notice how it transforms the way you move through space. You will feel more sensual, more alive, and more graceful. More in love. This allows a woman's pure essence, love, to radiate from her effortlessly. Others will be drawn to you automatically. And men's essence, pure presence, will make him irresistible also - it's a given. Return to your own body, move, breathe, be, in this dynamic stillness and feel how it transforms your experience of not only making love but of your whole life. It's very cool!

The thing is that bringing more dynamic stillness into your life has a cumulative effect. Like meditating every day, or exercising every day, it actually transforms who you are, naturally, and organically into a more loving, more present human being. And that's what brings you more of what you want and love in your life.

I'd love to hear your own experiences of how dynamic stillness has shown up in your life. Just fill in the form below.

And it's not too late to come to the next Making Love Retreat - October 9th-15th - it is starting to book up so please email me at [email protected] or call me on 0428 726 849 if you have any questions.

If you are a couple who care about each other and value your relationship without shutting down, whether you are having challenges or not, The Making Love Retreat will take your relationship to a whole new level. This retreat puts men and women completely on the same page when it comes to sex and lovemaking.

"There is simply no way of containing sexual energy; it is the life force itself. Even though in our minds we often try to separate sexual energy and 'other' energy, the truth is that it is all one and the same thing. Energy is simply energy with an inherent capacity to move, and it moves, whether the life force expresses itself through sex or survival, in art, athletics, or music. And try as we might, we cannot repress or ignore energy, we can only learn to channel it in the most intelligent and uplifting ways. "

- Diana Richardson

P.S Your body is not broken. Menopause is a gateway, a privilege, a time to embrace change with grace and step into a life that is empowered, loving and alive.  This is your birthright as a woman.  You have been waiting for this all your life... Buy my book Tantric Sex and Menopause on Amazon AUS, Amazon US & Amazon UK.