I really am a hopeless romantic. But I'm a cracker when it comes to Valentine's Day. I've seen more conflicts and disappointments from expectations not being met than I think it's worth.
To me, make every day a celebration of your relationship. And the greatest gift you can give your partner, your lover, is your PRESENCE.
I don't mean, 'well I'm here. Isn't that being present?' No I mean, full-bodied, full open-hearted, meet my eyes, PRESENCE.
Body language, facial expression, physiology is a large part of our communication. In fact, studies have shown that words are only 7%.
If I am always turned away from you when I speak, always on my phone, or I don't stop and really give my attention when I hug, I am not being fully present.
Even if we don't consciously notice another's ABSENCE, our body feels it, our heart feels it. And then we wonder why there is so much mismatched communication. And so quickly we can fall into misinterpretation, disappointment, and conflict.
Presence is healing. It is embracing. It is saying 'I love you' even without the words.
One area where we can become so absent in mind and body is lovemaking. And it is a by-product of mindlessly going about the routine of sex, as it has always been. The routine of sex can make us relatively absent, without even knowing that we are!
And absence makes us disconnect from our hearts and bodies, which can leave us feeling bereft, even though we've just been intimate. It doesn't seem to make sense.
What if each moment could be fresh in the unfolding of your lovemaking?
What if there was no routine?
What if you could feel your bodies finally relaxing without the tension of sex and without all its past skeletons coming out to haunt you?
That's what PRESENCE in lovemaking can bring. Wishing you a Happy Valentines Day with lots of 'presence'!
I'm so looking forward to our May Making Love Retreat which is filling up now.
The last two years have been intense for all. And this might be just the medicine you, your body, and your relationship really needs. Click here for more info
And if you'd like to arrange a free 30 min no obligation call with me as a couple to find out more about the retreat click here