There's an acceleration of consciousness sweeping the planet right now. Can you feel that?
Things that were 'fringe' 30 years ago are now mainstream.
Conversations that were behind closed doors are now open and in the nightly news - abuse, depression, anxiety, sex offenders and narcissistic leaders being called out, etc etc.
The world is now wanting authenticity. Not a glossed version of 'I have it all together' - it's about realness.
There's one real conversation that I am glad is being had now too and it's about another change - 'the' change - yes the change women go through anywhere from their late 30's, 40's, 50's. Menopause, peri-menopause.
There's nothing more real than your body changing unexpectedly or even gradually - looking down at it and seeing what once was up is now down!
What once smashed it when it came to pushing through that extra bit of work or tasks at hand, now lays as a dim memory as one struggles to get up in the morning or just couldn't be bothered putting that last bit of washing through for the day.
I have seen the relief on women's faces as they have sat in circles with women of 40 and 50 years of age, so relieved that they can actually be real about how they feel about how their bodies are changing, some that have no interest in sex anymore, or their partner isn't interested. Or that they are not quite perimenopausal yet, but they are scared of what is to come.
I'm here to say, it's not scary - it's empowering. Change is a portal. To transformation.
The sad thing is, that often at this time, women give up on is sex or a sexual relationship.
They put themselves out to pasture. I know that feeling. I felt the same. And sometimes it's actually necessary to have a break from sex. For a time, to reset things.
But not for good.
Because you disconnect from your heart. You deny the very thing that inside most women yearn for - a return to your feminine. And most men... A return to love. To your heart. Believe me, you are aching for this. The world is aching for you as well.
When I finally discovered this connection, my whole world changed. My whole relationship with my body changed. My perception of the intimate relationship itself changed. The connection to my femininity changed. And my partner's connection to his masculinity changed.
I no longer felt that I had to be what a guy wanted. Slowly, slowly, it started changing me. Slowly, slowly, I started to reference 'ME' in the whole experience, not the 'other'. That was new. That was radical.
And slowly slowly, I could feel my own self, filling from within, with a new sense of honouring my own experience in lovemaking. That my own innate experience had value.
And slowly slowly, I felt my heart grow bigger, more available, more alive, more open and connected.
So it's not about sex. It's actually about LOVE. Making Love. And our availability to love.
But when sex is over too soon, when it is goal-driven, when it's a mix of compromise and soul-destroying performance pressure, there's not a lotta space for LOVE. And we wonder why we feel so disconnected.
If you are experiencing a disparity in your desire for lovemaking, and you really want to dive in and truly break the habit of disconnection, come to the next Making Love Retreat - 17th - 23rd May 2020. We are taking bookings now as numbers are small and accommodation is limited.
This simple, life-changing approach, The Making Love Approach, might be 'fringe' now, but I can tell you, in another 30 years, well it's my hand-on-heart hope, it will be mainstream. That changing the way we make love as men and women will become as popular as yoga is now in the 2020s, something that was also so 'fringe' 30 years ago.
And if the retreat is not an option, there are plenty of resources here, including the Tantric Sex and Menopause book for you to read from and experiment for yourself. If you are outside Australia, go to Amazon here.
For more step-by-step info about how to move in this direction, go to My Blog - Libido High or Low?.