Times like these

Times like these ...

Oh yes! 🤟Got a chance to sneak away for some me time. Sitting in front of the falling sun tuning along to my favourite 70's cruise music. Reminiscing. Sooo relaxing ....

It’s been years and years since I’ve allowed myself time to r e a l l y,  t r u l y,  w h o l e h e a r t e d l y relax.

Cortisol levels rising before, during and after menopause make anxiety a very real thing for many mid-life women. So delicate is a woman’s hormonal system it makes times like these a must for us to maintain balance.
 
This is becoming common knowledge now but when I was researching for our book, Tantric Sex and Menopause almost 5 years ago, no one was talking about it.
 
I felt I’d struck gold. I felt ripped off that no doctor had explained this to me.
 
Fifteen or so years ago when I was going through menopause it was disturbing how uncontrollable this free floating anxiety would rise and wake me at 3 am.
 

Why does this happen? As our reproductive hormones, and in particular estrogen, start to diminish before during and after menopause, it sends a biofeedback signal to the brain, which then starts scrambling for more estrogen from other parts of the body - the kidneys, the adrenal and thyroid glands. The lower reptilian brain, our survival brain, then responds as if the body is under stress. So it produces more cortisol, causing the heart rate to increase, resulting in heart palpitations. Night sweats can also accompany this. These are rarely dangerous, though it can be distressing to experience. And it's good to check with your doctor if you are concerned. When the higher brain releases stress hormones, and the adrenals are pumping more and more cortisol, it can prevent the body from returning to normal easily. 

 
In this goal driven, outside driven society, women can become blinded by the illusion that more is better, to drive hard to achieve is the only way. Our bodies simply need a different path.
 
What can we do about it?
 
It's possible there’s a different way to get things done and I find the accumulation of daily habits that relax my nervous system, like
 
☀️ Key #1. BREATHING down into the belly. 20 breaths concentrating on a long outbreath settles me straight away. Nothing lowers Cortisol faster than breathing deeply.
 
☀️ Key #2 - being still to bring me into presence
 
☀️ Key #3 - keeping check of my emotions
 
☀️ Key #4 - gentle and restorative yoga
 
☀️ Key #5 - Supporting my body through good healthy nutrition
 
☀️ Key #6 - Slow muscle building exercise and fun outdoors with friends and family
 
☀️ Key #7Times like these that are key to supporting creativity and taking action from inspiration, not obligation
 
 
Let’s celebrate and support each other for actually giving ourselves a break.
 
And give each other PERMISSION to stop.
 

Stress is one of the number causes of relationship breakdown and we each have a responsibility to keep our cortisol levels in check, for the sake of LOVE. Do it for you, do it for your relationship. Do it for your family. Commit to at least one daily habit that you can implement easily and enjoy immediate benefits from.

I go into this and the solutions a lot at my Womantime events. Click here to register your interest for future events.

 
For further information about this subject in relation to sexuality, here is a link to Tantric Sex and Menopause.
 

It's all going to be ok

It's all going to be ok
This one. Me, 23, in Rockhampton in 1984.
 
A few months later my whole life was about to be turned upside down. I was having a heap of fun, had the best job ever. Art teacher at Rocky Girls Grammar. So good. Never really had any aspirations. Was just like a leaf floating along the river of life.

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Times like these

Times like these

It’s been years and years since I’ve allowed myself time to r e a l l y,  t r u l y,  w h o l e h e a r t e d l y relax.
 
Cortisol levels rising before, during and after menopause make anxiety a very real thing for many mid-life women. So delicate is a woman’s hormonal system it makes times like these a must for us to maintain balance.
 
This is becoming common knowledge now but when I was researching for our book, Tantric Sex and Menopause almost 5 years ago, no one was talking about it.

Read more »

I'm No Hero

I'm No Hero

While others have ‘pivoted’ their businesses through this COVID time, or otherwise switched quickly to online (some are my dear friends and I commend them) I instead battened down the hatches.

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When Men Close Down

When Men Close Down

For years I have written about women closing down sexually. I'm kind of known for it.

But the thing is that men close down too. We all do - it is not necessarily gender specific.

It's just that men usually have naturally high testosterone, rising by 800% in a boy's teens, which makes him highly sexually driven, also give that it is his dymanic pole, in a Tantric sense.

Testosterone can remain high until his 50's - 60's and still quite a reasonable level into his 70's, as long as he is healthy.

But some men find that they have absolutley no drive for sex and no erection at all, even at younger ages - 30's - 40's. And the heart breaking thing is - like women, is that they don't want to be closed....

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Can you feel the change?

Can you feel the change?

There's an acceleration of consciousness sweeping the planet right now. Can you feel that?

Things that were 'fringe' 30 years ago are now mainstream.

Conversations that were behind closed doors are now open and in the nightly news - abuse, depression, anxiety, sex offenders and narcissistic leaders being called out etc etc.

The world is now wanting authenticity. Not a glossed version of 'I have it all together' - it's about realness.

There's one real conversation that I am glad is being had now too and it's about another change - 'the' change - yes the change women go through anywhere from their late 30's, 40's, 50's. Menopause, peri-menopause.

There's nothing more real than your body changing unexpectedly or even gradually - looking down at it and seeing what once was up is now down!

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The Couple Bubble

The Couple Bubble

There’s something I’ve observed over my decades of life that is having me fascinated lately.

The couples I know that have had lasting and secure love over many years have all had something in common.

These couples would always be attentive to each other, always sit together or be in close contact at gatherings, always be cueing each other and watch out for each other.

I used to wonder if they were a little ‘co-dependant’, relied on each other too much, perhaps even a bit controlling....

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