Touch is a force.

To approach the body with sensitivity and awareness is a rare thing and yet it’s what every ‘body’ is craving for.

Touch, with presence. It’s the most life-giving, life-saving resource we can offer to our loved ones and those around us.

Yet, in our society generally, the body just doesn’t receive enough safe, loving, respectful, non-intentional touch. 

Touch is the first communication that we have in our world. The power of touch, and HOW we are touched, is etched into our brain, into every cell of our body, from birth.

A baby seeks contact with its mother's breast for reassurance and basically for survival. It's no wonder that we seek it.

So it's a huge force, but modern society has moved away from life-affirming expressions of touch. And particularly in the sexual arena, it can be a minefield of triggers for some.

Because touch isn't always loving. Sometimes loveless. Sometimes aggressive. Sometimes needy. Sometimes numbing. Sometimes completely inappropriate. Sometimes downright abusive. So this can be a loaded subject for some women and men.

To approach another's body should be regarded as a privilege. One that is not taken for granted. Or taken advantage of.

A privilege that is earned, through mutual respect and sensitivity. But when the mind and one's own agenda jumps to 'sex', for it's own sake, then there can be a tendency to allow touch that crosses boundaries, for those boundaries to become confused and confusing. Or to touch another with absolutely no consciousness or awareness of the effect on another's feelings or another's body.

I believe the world in general needs a complete retrain and reframe on this subject.

Do you want to receive touch that is opening or closing? Do you want to offer touch that is opening or closing? Really, it's either one or the other.

And when it comes to lovemaking, as you move to touch, let go of any agenda to make anything happen. And in that letting go, it is likely that an opening will be created. An opening of the bodies, an opening of the hearts.

The body is so sensitive. It will realize that there's been a relaxation, and there's been a loosening of the grip of the agenda.

Approach the body very slowly. In fact don't even touch the other's body until you have first connected to yourself, your own heart.

Presence has a magnetism. It's like a magnetic force that draws people and things to it.

Watch how you touch others today. Do you hold back? Do you reach out with too much intention?

Bring awareness to your touch. Bring only sensitivity to your touch. Bring only love.

If now is the time for your relationship to enter a new phase of loving connection and touch, join us at the next Making Love Retreat, May 16th - 22nd 2021.


Intimacy Matters

Intimacy Matters

Very early one morning in February I was interviewed by a beautiful couple, Nicola Foster and Jason Porthouse in the UK for their podcast, Intimacy Matters

I think I am the most relaxed I've ever been in any interview here, having known Nicola before. I'd met Nicola, a Relationship therapist, while attending The Making Love Retreat some 8 years ago in Europe.

We cover a heap of territory from...

Read more »

Touch is a force.

Touch is a force.

To approach the body with sensitivity and awareness is a rare thing and yet it’s what every ‘body’ is craving for.

Touch, with presence. It’s the most life-giving, life-saving resource we can offer to our loved ones and those around us.

Yet, in our society generally, the body just doesn’t receive enough safe, loving, respectful, non-intentional touch. 

Touch is the first communication that we have in our world. The power of touch, and...

Read more »

I have a Dream

I have a Dream

2020. The year of crumbling, also the year of opening. Opening doors that were perhaps closed.

Intimacy is about opening doors. Doors that have been shut for too long. Doors that need a little prying open. Doors that need the hinges oiled with love and understanding, so they open more easily.

Never before has the human connection been more important than now. The heart, compassion, understanding, empathy, even more potently needed. We...

Read more »

It's all going to be ok

It's all going to be ok

This one. Me, 23, in Rockhampton in 1984.

A few months later my whole life was about to be turned upside down. I was having a heap of fun, had the best job ever. Art teacher at Rocky Girls Grammar. So good. Never really had any aspirations. Was just like a leaf floating along the river of life.

Read more »

Times like these

Times like these

It’s been years and years since I’ve allowed myself time to r e a l l y,  t r u l y,  w h o l e h e a r t e d l y relax.
 
Cortisol levels rising before, during and after menopause make anxiety a very real thing for many mid-life women. So delicate is a woman’s hormonal system it makes times like these a must for us to maintain balance.
 
This is becoming common knowledge now but when I was researching for our book, Tantric Sex and Menopause almost 5 years ago, no one was talking about it.

Read more »

I'm No Hero

I'm No Hero

While others have ‘pivoted’ their businesses through this COVID time, or otherwise switched quickly to online (some are my dear friends and I commend them) I instead battened down the hatches.

Read more »