I think the first time I truly became aware of my breasts from the inside was when I began breastfeeding my first child at the age of 24. Unbeknown to me, I was being initiated into a phase of womanhood that at the time was simply a practical and healthy choice for my child.
Little did I realize the true pleasure I’d receive from this nurturing and nourishing experience of feeding life force through my body to him. No matter how busy I was, or how I was feeling, I’d finally relax when I fed him. It was like I was home again. The same when my daughter came along when I was even more appreciative of this divine devotion of mother to child.
Now, almost thirty years on, it’s all falling into place, as I understand the vast significance of the breasts to a woman to her health and sensual vitality.
For many women, breasts are too small, too big, too floppy, too this too that. For some they do not have any and feel a loss of their womanhood through breast removal. If that’s been your journey, my heart goes out to you and something I do want to reassure you of, is that this vital energy, this life force is still present with or without the breast. Just like a limb can be felt when it has been amputated, the breasts that have been removed can be palpably felt if a woman takes the time to be still and opens herself to their inner energy. Women with breast removal have shared this in our retreats.
Our inherited sexual conditioning of genital focused, speedy sex means that the tender touch and love that a woman’s body and breasts need to truly relax and open up, are often left out of the picture for a woman. She comes to think she has a sexual problem, which can be incredibly disheartening.
When a woman takes time to feel her breasts from the inside, to hold them gently from underneath and touch with tenderness, a subtle tingling is felt inside and a resonance begins to awaken in her womb and genitals. Then she can come to know this life force is within her own body, no matter what age she is.
One woman, a birth educator and midwife had a light bulb moment when I shared this in a talk. “That’s what we tell women to do to help the baby come down! I never thought about it applying to lovemaking!”
A great healing practice for a woman’s body and psyche, to awaken her inner sensual, sensitivity, is to take 20 minutes to lie down morning and evening and bring awareness to her heart, breasts and nipples. Over time, sensitivity will return to her body and there will be no doubt in her mind of her own feminine vitality.
It helps a woman AND man come home to their own body and is an important key to The Making Love approach as taught by Gene and myself at The Making Love Retreat coming up in November.
And if you are single, it will enliven and enrich your vitality, and create the attractive force in beautiful readiness for a relationship when it comes along. (see My Zurich Experience post to read for yourself)
This article was published in the October Holistic Bliss Magazine.
P.S Your body is not broken. Menopause is a gateway, a privilege, a time to embrace change with grace and step into a life that is empowered, loving and alive. This is your birthright as a woman. You have been waiting for this all your life... Buy my book Tantric Sex and Menopause on Amazon AUS, Amazon US & Amazon UK.
I've seen a lot in my almost 40 years of personal growth and more than 20 years of psychotherapy.
The changes, the trends, the breakthroughs in relationship and trauma theory have reshaped therapeutic environments. And I've seen a lot in my time of exploration into the subject of sexuality and relationship I can tell you.
And, what I have witnessed and been prey to at times, in the name of 'personal growth'...
When the lovely, Luanne Mareen, in her Answering the Call of Your Purpose series, interviewed me recently, she prompted me to ponder my purpose. It did make me contemplate what led me to do what I do.
I really believe our 'purpose' is more simple than we think. It's just the avenue or the pathway through which we live that purpose that can vary, according to our life circumstances. Whether...
It's a crazy time right now. In Australia, the level of fear in the air seems to be heightening. There's an agitation, a fragility in many. Are you being pulled into it or are you able to remain buoyant?
This low-level anxiety affects our nervous systems and ultimately can affect our relationships. We are at survival in some ways. And our primal brain (survival brain) responds to this fight-flight. Stress and...
I often hear men say, when they speak about sexual intimacy, "It's her problem, not my problem. I want it. She doesn't".
Well, it's not that simple! And it's not her fault, and it's not his fault. There is a lot at play here.
In this video I am primarily speaking to men. But roles can always be reversed. Sometimes it is the man who is retreating from sexual intimacy, so I...
My daughter took this photo in Melbourne early in 2020.
Contemplating my beautiful journey with her as a mother made me think of something that happened as she grew up. To be honest this is a little hard to admit! But for the sake of any woman approaching perimenopause, well, here I go ...
One day when she was 12, and I was 42, I found myself behaving like a crazy woman...
'Why can I not reach her anymore?'. This is the question so many men are asking me lately.
I am seeing a change in men generally these days. Their bewilderment engenders humility. Their hearts are aching to love and to see their partner shine again.
I see this in their faces as they arrive on the first night of the Making Love Retreat, downhearted and confused. Sometimes years of tears ready...